MountingUp

Abba, for long enough did I silence the cry of my heart.
All these voices telling me what I should and should not do.
‘Man up’ they say.
What if that yoke is too heavy for me to carry?

I long to sit with You in the garden.
To lay back against You and breath.
To feel Your heartbeat.
To drink from the cup that You have for me.

I am sorry for getting confused.
Confused about whose cup is whose.
I am tired. I am weak.
Like a deer panteth for water, so my soul longs for You.
Don’t turn Your face from me.
Hear my cry and deliver me, oh my God.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all my days.
All I want to do, is dwell in Your House.
Burn the inscence in Your courts.

May my ways be pleasing unto You.
As You lead me out of this dry land.
Please God, lead me out of this dry land.
Back to you.

The silent scream within me opened up.
Is this the condition of my heart?
How deceived I have been for not hearing the cry of my own heart.

teach me to listen, god.